Nightly Walk Prt V

My question hung in the air for a moment as Leonard took a step back obviously unsure how to answer. His moon colored skin returned to its nightlight-power glow, casting his faint blue hue on the floor around him. The silver lines on Leonard’s shirt shinned from the illumination spreading across his black turtleneck like the Milky Way Galaxy. His nose was crinkled up like a pig and his eyes widened shrinking his pupils expanding the color in his irises. His amber eyes were dulled so that all the layers of brown mingled together, hiding the lighter colors that would normally pop like the stars in a country plain compared to a city square.
“Leonard, are you okay?” I asked hoping to pry the answer out.
“Yeah. It’s just the answer to your question isn’t as simple as you would think.”
“Where did you come from is a hard question?”
“I was born in Ashville North Carolina, but the place you are asking about is much more complicated.” Leonard explained rubbing the back of his neck, looking around as if someone were watching. “I came from a dimension that isn’t really acknowledged by humans nor other, beings, for that matter.”
“But your human. Right? And what other beings?” I asked, squinting my eyes shut shaking my head not understanding the odd combination of words.
“There is a place where humans go after they die, to purge.” Leonard began, turning on the balls of his feet walking a pace before turning back to face me, taking a deep breath he continued, ‘’I died six years ago, but I didn’t go to Heaven, or to Hell. I woke up in a faded world of grays and shades. The closest thing I know to describe the dimension is Purgatory.”
I couldn’t believe my ears. I hadn’t noticed until a bug flew into my mouth, that it was wide opened. Snapping it shut I realized the muscles in my jaw ached. Rubbing the joint by my ear and temple I wiggled my jaw before saying, “I don’t know why I’m surprised.”
“Well most people believe in after death, but when they are faced with it that belief kind of leaves their thought process.”
“Still, you carry a stone headed axe, and two ice-sickle shaped stones in holsters like pistols.” I said, staring at the teenager whose eyebrows were raised, “Oh yeah and you glow.”
Nodding Leonard opened his mouth to speak, but shut it immediately when a high pitched shriek tunneled down the dirt path we were standing on. Before my eyes opened from a blink Leonard was gone. That’s another thing, I thought, his speed. Following the breeze produced by his movement I found myself at a two story log cabin in a small cleared out acre of land. The lightly stained wooden door was kicked in hanging only on its bottom hinge. Two windows to the left of the door where covered in curtains, but as I stepped closer a cone shaped object came flying through the closest one to the door. Glass shattered out spreading like buck shot clearing six feet past the roof covered porch. Worried for Leonard I ran towards the house where pots and pans were rattling and a crash came out of the door.
As I approached the porch the cone object was lying at my feet. Finally it dawned on me, one of the stalagmite knives. Snatching it up off the grass I leaped onto the porch and barreled through the door into a scene from backstage wrestling. A two seat couch was flipped over so that the black underbelly was pointing to the ceiling. The sectional rug that it rested on was out of place covered with popcorn and chips. Wires behind the television were sparking as the screen showed static. A women and a man hid in the kitchen section of the one room floor of the house, behind a wooden table knocked on its side.
Struggling with three purple goblins Leonard had lost all of his weapons. The other stalagmite was in the sink along with the small curtains that went over the single framed window above it and his axe was lying on the floor at his feet where one of the goblins had a hold of his leg. Another goblin was on Leonard’s back with its arms around his neck, and the last one was struggling with Leonard their hands locked in a contest of strength. The goblin on Leonard’s back turned its solid green eyes on me and smiled. Five fangs hung from its upper gums with none in its lower. Dropping from Leonard’s back it charged me its three clawed fingers spread. When it reached a yard from me it leaped and instinctively I threw up my right arm turning my head squinting my eyes shut.
After a moment of feeling nothing but a strain on my shoulder I turned my head opening my eyes. The goblins face was stuck in an expression of shock. Its toothless lower jaw hung down and its eyes were frozen wide. As I brought my arm up the pointed end of the stalagmite knife buried itself into the pointed ear of the goblin, killing it. Green blood seeped through the seems around the stalagmite, falling on its shoulder.
Looking over to Leonard he was shouting something but shock had sealed my ears shut.
“Jordan watch out!” I was able to make out as I dropped the three foot goblin to the floor. Another goblin was running at me and I dropped my only weapon still stuck in the dead demon at my feet.
Like the previous goblin this one leaped at me from a yard away. Instead of raising my arm up I ducked to the floor. A purple blur flew over my head followed by a smaller grey blur. Turning back towards Leonard, the remaining goblin laid at his feet with the stone axe blade through its head. Glancing outside the last goblin lied on its stomach with the other stalagmite sticking out of its back.
“Good call dropping to the floor when you did.” Leonard said, holding out a hand in front of me, his axe back in its sheath over his shoulder.
“I’m glad I dropped too instead of trying to block it like I did the first one.”
“You would have been skewered like a cannibalistic shish kabob.” Leonard laughed to himself.
“Leonard your hurt!” I yelled. Simultaneously the scratch across his neck, that a second ago had red flowing from it, was healing.
“I told you, I‘m practically a ghost. Unless I suffer a truly fatal injury it will heal.”
“That is so cool.”
“I just wish I didn’t have to die to be able to do it.” Leonard sighed, “Come on, lets get out of here.”
Retrieving the cone shaped stone from the goblin I handed it over to Leonard.
“You were pretty good with this.”
“Thank you.” I smiled at the compliment.
“Just wait one second you two!” A deep voice yelled behind us. The man of the house was standing in front of the wooden table, the phone to his ears, shouting, “I’m calling the police and I’m not letting you two get away with this!”
“Jordan we have to leave now!”
“I’ll tell you later.” In the same movement Leonard grabbed my arm and retrieved his second stalagmite from the goblins back. Before the man could utter another syllable we were out of ear shot.


I love to write. I've always had a strong imagination and my mind never stops creating scenes that I want to share. I am new to writing so feedback is great and comments are appreciated, plus any tips. I live in a small town in Tennessee but for only a year. I lived on Long Island most of my life.

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Posted in Fantasy, Fiction
5 comments on “Nightly Walk Prt V
  1. bull4499 says:

    This is the fifth installment of a short series I thought up. The other four can be found on my blog along with continuing episodes. If you enjoy it “Likes” are appreciated or leave a comment. Enjoy!

  2. The first four parts can be found here.

  3. NicoleP says:

    This piece had a couple of issues to me. The dialog between Leonard and Jordan feels artificial. It’s very expository and doesn’t feel like two human beings interacting in the moment. It almost feels more like a TV interview, where one character is asking the questions the audience really wants to know the answers too, and the other is answering them.

    While I think overall the description is interesting and well done, it does seem to lack a little bit during the fight scene and I had a little bit of difficulty in determining what was actually happening. I’d also like to know about how far away from the original location the log cabin is. Are the people there Jordan’s neighbors? Do they recognize him? The pacing is pretty fast so if you wanted to take a break and describe the trip a little I don’t think it would hurt. I look forward to reading more!

    • bull4499 says:

      Thank you, I do feel dialog is the area I need the most work on. Are there any tips you have for me?

      • NicoleP says:

        I think what bothers me is that I don’t really get an strong sense of either of the characters in this excerpt. Since I don’t know much about the character’s personalities it’s hard for me to suggest a way to make them seem like two distinct people when they are speaking with each other. Try reading it out loud in two different voices and think about what the characters are doing while speaking? Imagine you’re watching this scene as a movie with two really good actors you admire. How do they act out these characters to make them feel unique and special?

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June 2013
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